Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Week 36, Marlborough School

June 5, 2012

Crime and Punishment!

We reconvened the trial from a couple weeks ago between Disco Dave and a few others this morning.  R?'s legal council was absent so we went ahead without him.  The proceeding went as follows:

Bob and Fred request a judge and jury.  Seeing no volunteers, they move on as best they can without.

Fred:  Dan and Gabe destroyed Roarie's house, we have new evidence!  Roarie ripped off Disco Dave's head and should be fined.
Gabe:  I've been framed!
Dan:  I was at my house when it happened.
Roarie:  I did not touch Disco Dave's house!
Disco Dave:  I did not touch Roarie's boat!
Fred:  What should we do?
Chuck:  Fine them and send them to Federal prison
Disco Dave:  We have no prisons
Fred:  We could de-value their land when we do appraisals next week
Rolph:  Place a lien on their properties?
Gabe:  My value is already low!
Disco Dave:  As punishment we could soak their heads in the river
Fred:  That will give the peeps cancer and make their hair fall out
Disco Dave:  They will also be shunned
Fred:  Do you have anything to say in your defense?
Dan:  I was working on my property at the time in question
Fred:  Do you have proof?
Dan:  I was there
Bob:  How have you been framed?
Morton:  Let's just fine them and call it a day
Fred:  Raise your hand if you told Cameron anything about this.  (Cameron is a student not participating in Village)
Collectively:  Who's Cameron?
Fred:  Do we have any witnesses?
Chuck:  I saw those two (points at Dan and Gabe) walking back from the woods grinning.  And I saw Disco Dave.  I was walking over and I saw them walking with sticks, I did not look at Disco Dave's house.
Fred:  Dan and Gabe most likely destroyed the boat.
Morton:  Any other witnesses?
Fred:  Does anyone have handcuffs?
Disco Dave:  As punishment they should be locked in a room with my vicious Wumpass
Fred:  Raise your hand if you think Dan and Gabe are guilty  (some hands go up in the air, not all)
Bob:  Wait a second
Fred:  They shall be punished!  Now for Roarie ripping Disco Dave's head off.  They shall be punished!
Bob:  Throw peeps in the river for a minute and a half as punishment (directed at Dan and Gabe)
Chuck:  No, two minutes!
Fred:  They shall be condemned to the waters of the river.  Say "I" if you are in favor of the same punishment for Roarie.
Random yelling:  I think Roarie should be fined.  I think he should have his head soaked in the river for two minutes for attempted murder!
Dan:  It was murder!
Bob:  Hand over your peeps!

The formal trial ended here with the entire village all running into the woods to be first at the "river".  The TinyTownies lined up on either bank excitedly waiting for justice to be done.  Disco Dave set a timer on his watch and the peeps were submerged.  While this seems like it would be a terrible punishment, perhaps even torture, the peeps were really no worse for the wear just a bit wet!

Next week we shall do appraisals and begin clean up of the land.  A newspaper was published today, but due to technical difficulties it is unavailable!

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